Key Truisms about Surviving Lost Love
When one door of happiness closes, another opens:
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller.
Life's glory is not in never falling,
but in getting up EVERY time you fall.
Nelson Mandela
Overcoming a Broken Heart
Step One:
- Allow yourself time to heal, and know that you can heal. Whether the loss is due to death, rejection, or other reason.
- It is normal to grieve over a loss of a love for any reason.
- It usually takes two to three years for a couple whose relationship has broken up to begin to put their lives back together again. It sometimes takes five years for individuals and families to get over the emotional pain and trauma. Many people can have serious health and emotional problems during this time.
Step Two:
- Realize that you still can find happiness.
- Realize that you can control how you think, what you think about, and how much.
- A key is to concentrate on the positives you have in the present. Not thinking about the future or past.
Healing Helpers
- Being around people and getting involved in helping others is a good way to accelerate the proces of healing.
- Laughing helps too, so see a comedy, watch funny things. That is part of the reason the Irish have a party when someone passes away.
- Helping others helps you loose sight of your own losses.
- It is strongly suggested that you take the intensity of your feelings and re-direct them into doing something constructive that helps others. For me, it was creating this web site and doing volunteer work that helps others. Do volunteer work, it can help the healing process greatly. Especially, if the volunteer work envolves working with others, and feeling gratitude from those you are helping. The channeling the power of your feelings to accomplish constructive acts is very, very helpful.
Suggested Reading:
- The Art Of Happiness
- You can be Happy No Matter What
- And believe it or not ... The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
All three helped me. Especially the 1st & 2nd Habit
Step Three:
- Activily work to feel better.
- Act happy and smile. Even if you don't feel that way, it should start to make you feel that way.
- Life will be better
As with all losses of love, time is needed to grieve over loss, you need to cherish what you had, realize what you have good in your life at the moment, and keep a hope for a better future.
If you have lost love, allow yourself the time to grieve (could be months, years. Harder when you have contact with the person that you love, than if you have no contact therapists tell me), then follow the same steps I am trying to do.
NOTE: Count your blessings! Take time to count what is good in your life. If a Jewish man living in a Nazi death camp during World War II could find positives in his life and have a positive attitude, then you can too!